In the meantime if you are on Instagram or Flickr, please do come on over and hang out. I've been sharing every day photos over at Instagram and I have photo classes that I post for on Flickr. No facebook or twitter though. I don't think I'm ready for all of that yet. Although this post will be streaming through there automatically.
Thank you in advance for understanding.
Update, honesty and prayer request ~
Meanwhile, right after I started my break the kids moved in. Needless to say, the changes are awesome and uncomfortable, but I welcome them. God keeps assuring me that though I'll be extremely tested and uncomfortable, to stay close to Him and the changes will be amazing!
The main purpose of my break though was that I'd been feeling even more unwell. I progressively became more exhausted and ill since October of last year. Shadow also caught a skin irritation later in October that he's been fighting through and healing from. His requires constant attention as we can't allow him to scratch or lick. Poor dog can't be a dog.
So although the rest was needed, the kids moved in, and here I am trusting God that I will find that much needed rest and refreshment.
As I write, a major change occurred today so please do keep us all in prayer.
As for me, I feel that pull to be completely open with you all. I hear God saying it's what he wants. So here goes, even though I'm freaking out about it. Laying my imperfections on the table...gulp!
I haven't been myself. I've been cranky, frustrated, highly irritable, and at times rude. Who the heck is this person??? I'm quick to apologize, but it still feels so gross to be in this state. I'm normally upbeat, bubbly, and joyful even when I am sick. I know I've offended and although it gets settled, I can't seem to be okay with it and move on. I tend to beat myself up. And so here I am feeling beaten up, beaten down, stressed, and not too proud of myself.
I wanna escape it all. Thoughts of wanting to run started this week. Feelings have come of wishing I could be in my heavenly home already. Sometimes, I'd like to lock myself in my room and stay isolated. Light depression has hit.
Is this the extreme testing God told me about? Good thing, I'm staying close to Him. In all the changes, my time with God was, is and always will be non-negotiable.
So, I humbly ask for your prayers. Also, If you're going through something like I am, know that I'm praying for you as I pray for myself and those I might be offending.
Room to grow and space for changing. It is very painful! I believe so deeply that in Christ, what feels "ugly" will become beautiful in Him and in His timing.
What to do with it all. I'm in that state where I have no clue what do to with it all...the feelings, the thoughts, the words, the attitudes. I feel lost. My thoughts are all over the place. My words get ugly. My attitude stinks, frankly.
So I pray. I'll keep praying. I apologize. I'll keep apologizing. I love. I'll never stop loving. I hope. I know his hope will not disappoint. I embrace the coming change.
The little joys and small wonders. The treasures in my every day moments. The adventure in the every day happenings. These are harder to take notice of lately. So, I dig deeper, look harder, and I find something everyday that brings a smile and lets me know God is with me. Doesn't matter how small or big.
This week, I'll stay with Him longer and let Him soothe and ease me.
Time to get back to creating again. Time to get back into those refreshing activities. Time to get back around the ones who lift me up.
Until August, or the next update...
Psalm 31:1-2 ~
I run to you, God, I run for dear life.
Don't let me down!
Take me seriously this time!
Get down on my level and listen, and please - no procrastination!
Your granite cave a hiding place,
your high cliff aerie a place of safety.
v24 ~ Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up.
Expect God to get here soon.
As always, if you've silently popped in, thanks for being here and sharing in my every day.
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