Fooled by Annoyance

I don't how, but I let myself go there. I usually pick my battles. All of a sudden, I found myself not only easily annoyed, but letting everyone around me know it. More than that, I let 'em have it too! I'm not proud it at all. My evil twin sure did feel good at the time though.

Day 1: I yell extremely loud at David in front of our younger son. I wasn't even sorry.

Day 2: I lost it at David in front of our older son, daughter-in-law, and grandson. This time, I was a little sorry. How so? I apologized with a "but" attached to it. The half apology. I'm so embarrassed at myself right now.

Day 3-6: Anyone and everyone who annoyed me got the rolling eyes, ahem, and a view of the back of my head.

Day 7: This is where it all began to change. I finally fell apart and asked aloud, "What's wrong with me?" and "Why am I acting like this?". 

I realized I was still recovering from exhaustion, coming down with a bad sinus/maybe cold, and giving away time I didn't have. That is no excuse. I should've rested, said no to begin with and had my down-time.

Day 8: I finally sat still, said no to a few gatherings and lingered in the quiet. I let God collect me off the floor, walls and ceiling. What a horrible mess. I felt so ugly. Being with Him brought rest. I could feel Him begin to redeem and restore. 

Day 9: I got this verse on my flip calendar for Soul Refreshment: Proverbs 12:16 ~ Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.

Aha! An answer. I had given in to self. That's what happens when I forget my best is with Jesus and jump on the self-reliance cycle. Self loves to be irrational, stressed out, irritated, and yes, easily annoyed. 

Day 10: Doing better, still annoyed here or there, but seeing the better in the ones I love. The joy and wonder is a little more easily found than Day 1. I missed being here so much. In the grace, gratitude, joy, and love.

Rats! Fooled by annoyance.

Have you ever been fooled by annoyance? 
How did you get back to gratitude, grace, and joy?

If you've quietly slipped in thank you for visiting. I pray you find more of Jesus here today and take Him with you.