The Letting Go

Fall (letting go)

I'm saying goodbye to old habits and safety zones. Alooooha to my rights, my comfort, and time that's mine all mine. Thank goodness there are so many more gifts in doing so. The transition was/is a challenge and I welcome it.

Letting go of my old ways of mothering. Letting them become in their struggles and challenges. Seeing them falling, failing and still letting go. Letting go in prayer for wisdom to be the kind of mother our sons need as adults. Letting go through tears of wanting to step in and rescue, but realizing there are gifts that await them as they become...who they will become.

Falling apart in God's arms through friends and loved ones. Letting go of being the good soldier and embracing my weaknesses as opportunity to lean on His strength. Letting go in reaching out for the support of people who gird me up with their loving and kind life words in email and prayer. The walls of the "front" I put up are slowly crumbling. I can't wait to finally see what's beyond that wall!

Letting go of having it altogether. Letting go of self-reliance, self-dependence, self-righteousness. Embracing the awkwardness of not being "superwoman".  Looking in the mirror and seeing a new face...a new friend stumbling and getting back up again. Those bumps and bruises can be painful. Learning to ride my new bike with no training wheels.

Welcoming my becoming as I find my slow flow. Becoming someone who needs others in every way that is good to need them. Becoming someone who lets people help me and they become in doing so. I didn't realize I was robbing them of their becoming by denying their help. I also robbed them of sharing in the joys of my becoming. I can get used to sitting back a little more. Now, I need to learn to let them help me how they are able. Not how I expect them to.

Discovering beautiful gifts in being vulnerable. Learning to accept myself as beautifully imperfect. That's hard to write...I am beautifully imperfect. I'm almost perspiring as I write those words. I'm seeing more of who I really am in my imperfections. I think I like me better this way...or do I. Yup, I'm still getting used to that one.

The fall breezes are refreshing my soul...

"He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed" ~Proverbs 11:25


As I let go of outward perfection I can become whole inwardly...

"I didn't want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness 
that comes from keeping a list of rules 
when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ..." ~ Phillipians 3:9


Jennifer said...

It's a tender place facing flaws in imperfections. But what a gift to grasp to our dependence on him. I'm in a season of letting go and facing harsh realities too. Praying for you now, Jeri!

Unknown said...

Every word from "Letting go of my old ways of mothering" echoes the change in my own life. This is a beautiful post.

Sierra said...

Hey, Jeri,
What wonderful words of encouragement! I feel like I'm a lot like you, except I despise my imperfections and cling onto my own ways. I find it really hard to "let go and let God", but I am inspired by you. :) Here's to being who He wants us to be and who He is moulding us to be! :)

Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

You and I are in a similar place in our faith walk, from reading this post. Letting go is a chant in my life right now and God is the only one getting me through.

Unknown said...

@Jennifer, Kristine, Sierra, & Melissa - You affirm my soul in sharing "fall" and all it entails with me. Here's to our becoming.

Katie said...

I am learning the being vulnerable continuously. It is hard to be vulnerable when you have been hurt much. Yet it is where we connect with God and with others. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing from your heart.

Beautifully imperfect... I need to ponder and pray.... I know this in my head but I don't think I know this deep in my soul and heart.

Anonymous said...

So beautifully inspiring! I am including your idea, "Falling apart in God's arms through friends and loved ones" as something for me to have the courage to do too.
Thank you,

Unknown said...

@Katie & @Helen - Hi there. Trusting people after a major hurt is hard and terrifying. I'm still growing in that area. So, I take my time...let in one person at a time.

Helen, That's a good idea for prayer...for courage in the area of people. Ooh, I like that.

You ladies have touched my heart today.

Bonnie Gray said...

You're doing the work that is hard, but that is beautiful, fulfilling and it is worth the investment. Invisible now, but oh, my goodness, what a harvest and fruit you will be reaping, Jeri! :) I'm right there next to ya'!

Unknown said...

You gird me up in powerful prayers. Never alone. Thank you so much very much.